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Anger is destructive. The face of anger takes many forms. Sometimes it's explosive and unpredictable. Sometimes it's a quiet burn that stonewalls those you love and care about. Sometimes it really feels unmanageable. Maybe the inability to manage brought you here? I'd like to encourage you that it's not too late.

What's actually going on

It's been said that anger more closely resembles a shield than a sword. Anger, acted out, is usually a defensive response to some kind of pain point or wound. These wounds can be obvious, feeling disrespected, disregarded, or unimportant. Sometimes they are less obvious and reflective of a tightly held worldview that might suggest that you are unlovable, not valuable, or that God is simply "out to get you". And so, as a way of trying to save yourself from pain, you raise the shield. The problem is that you don't need a sword to wound others… a shield can do just as much damage.

How counseling helps

Counseling provides the space to recognize core hurts and situations that provoke anger. We will develop skills that will equip you with the ability to feel the feelings without running for the shield or other masks. Over time we will begin to examine those closely held worldviews and evaluate how they have shaped your emotional and behavioral responses. We will allow for time to tell your story and talk about the role forgiveness plays in healing from long-held bitterness.

When to reach out

It's not too early to reach out if you (or others in your life) feel that anger has a stronghold on you. It's not too late to reach out even if your anger has brought you to places you never thought you'd be.

Common questions

I don't blow up — I just go cold. Is that anger too?

Stonewalling, sarcasm, withdrawal, and years-long grudges are "quieter versions" of anger. The quiet versions can do as much damage as the loud ones; it just does it slower.

What about forgiveness? Some things feel unforgivable.

Forgiveness is real work, ongoing, and is not the same as pretending it didn't happen. We'll go at it honestly, at a pace that respects what actually happened to you. One goal of working through anger is arriving at forgiveness.

This doesn't fix itself. But it does fix.

A short form, a reply within two business days, and a phone call before any commitment. That's all starting takes.