A relationship heading toward collapse is marked by toxic communication, emotional distance, and built-up bitterness. Conflict is an unavoidable part of the human experience; whenever two imperfect people interact, friction will occur. This reality spans every type of bond, including marriages, families, and everyday friendships.
What's actually going on
What is on a quarter? If you say "George Washington," you would be right. If you say "a bald eagle," you would also be right. In reality, the way you answer that question is a matter of perspective. Perspective sharing is one structural antidote to the "quarter dilemma" in relationships. When couples or family members learn to share their viewpoints without attacking each other, they shift from fighting each other to solving the problem together. Personality and lived experience shape individual worldviews and so it's entirely possible for those worldviews to collide at some point. Because conflict is so nuanced there are of course other factors contributing including learned family of origin patterns, selfishness, individual depression or anxiety, and external life stressors.
How counseling helps
We all have blind spots. We all are prone to insisting that our vantage point is the correct one. It may be necessary to deconstruct pride and look into the mirror and in so doing we might have to learn to drop the shield of defensiveness. We'll build skills for increasing empathy and emotional attunement as we look to understand the other person's world. Above all, relationships don't fail for a lack of communication, they fail because a lack of love. Christ's words in John 13:34 sum up the ultimate goal of any relationship, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."
When to reach out
If you have started feeling the distance, bitterness, or tension build then it might be time to reach out. Relationships don't self-correct.