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Life changes happen for a variety of different reasons and sometimes without any warning. A new baby, new job, separation, diagnosis, sending a child to college, or loss of a loved one can produce heavy emotional responses. Whether it is change worth celebrating or a change requiring grief, it is true that transitions are hard.

What's actually going on

Grief is a normal human emotion that comes as a result of significant life changes. Although grief is a word most associated with loss or death, we grieve the familiar as well. This is why we may feel an uneasiness in otherwise positive life changes (i.e. Going to college, moving to a new and exciting town, becoming a father). There may be some uncertainty into what the future holds as you sail into new oceans. Additionally, there is an identity component to any transition: 'Am I still me if I no longer...?' You can fill in the blank.

How counseling helps

One initial goal of counseling is to help with the feeling of instability in what is new and unfamiliar. Maybe the change was traumatic and you've had a lot of support and validation related to your circumstance from family and friends. Maybe nobody, yourself included, has actually identified that you indeed are going through a significant life change. Through telling your story you can start to put words to the feelings you hold about the transition and identify values and anchors in your life that can help keep you grounded during this chapter turn of life.

When to reach out

If a chapter has ended or is about to and you notice you're not quite you, if might be time to reach out. The middle of a transition is exactly the right time to talk to someone.

Common questions

I lost my job and I'm not myself. Is that normal?

Completely. For most men, work carries far more than a paycheck, it holds identity, structure, and the answer to "what do you do?" Losing it hits like grief because it is grief. Naming that honestly is the first step to rebuilding identity on something sturdier.

How is faith part of this?

Transitions are where the question "who am I?" gets loudest and Scripture has a deep answer that doesn't depend on your title, your marriage status, or your last performance review. Faith is where you can start to begin the work of anchoring your identity where it can't be repossessed.

This doesn't fix itself. But it does fix.

A short form, a reply within two business days, and a phone call before any commitment. That's all starting takes.